Melodrama:

The Wildly Wireless Melodrama

A Packet Play in As Many Acts as You Care to Write
Only Act I is completed for you....

Just what kind of play is this?

It's different. It's silly, but it's lots of fun to put on. And it's rather crazy. Think Dudley Do-Right and other such melodramas.

Wildly Wireless is meant to be overacted, and the stage directions are meant to be read by the actors. For example, in the opening line said by the teacher, the student playing the teacher should say in a teacher-type voice, "And now class, all eyes this way," and in a firm narrator-type voice looking at the audience, "Mrs. Terrific says with emphasis."

Any words or phrases in brackets are meant to result in gestures or sounds—such as he sighs [sigh]. They may, in addition, include stage directions that are not spoken such as [Teacher Terrific leaves the stage.]

It may seem confusing at first, but having the characters say the stage directions makes the play more fun and allows the characters to interact with the audience.

Remember the only words not spoken are those in [brackets].

Suggestions for Use of the Melodrama

The Wildly Wireless Melodrama can be performed by reading it aloud in a classroom or by acting it out before an audience. Depending upon the time you have available, you might want to consider:

• Instructing your students to read the play aloud in class and then follow the reading with a discussion of possible endings.
• Having your students copy this play to their computers so that they can experiment with writing their own scenes or endings for it. Instruct them to be as zany and creative as they can be, but to stick to the topic, which is, of course, Wildly Wireless.
• Assigning your students to read the play for homework and write an essay ending for it or even a review of the play that gives away the plot.
• Letting your students select a character from the character list and then have them write a scene featuring that character (in the Wildly Wireless tradition, naturally).

Time for the Melodrama

Performing Act I will take about 18-20 minutes.

The Characters

We hope there are enough parts for everyone in the class, but if there aren't, you'll find it easy to add additional parts. If there are too many parts, some of your students will be sure to volunteer to play more than one part.

If you are putting on this play for others, you might want to make large signs with the characters' names printed on them. Attach a string that is long enough to go around a student's neck to the top corners of the signs. Then the students can wear their character signs and proudly show them to the audience throughout the play.

Keep in mind that if characters such as the narrator and teacher are played by the opposite gender than is called for in the script, students can change the he's to she's and she's to he's and so on. If you have a class in which most of the students are of one sex, there's no problem with having girls take on the parts of boys/men or boys taking the parts of girls.

The Props

If you are just reading the play with your class, you won't need props, but if you decide to present it, you'll need some laptop computers or props to look like them, something to resemble a wireless hub, a yardstick, and a spray bottle with water in it.

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Cast: There are parts for 23+ students in Act One.

Characters in Act One:

• Stage Curtain
  Very red and possibly velvet, also very tired
• Naughty Narrator
  In cahoots with the Nasties. Wants to be rid of the packet students.
• Teacher Terrific
  The teacher of the student packets who is also a packet.
• Sweet Sally
  Sweet and kind packet
• Savvy Sam
  Know-it-all packet
• Ned Network
  Frustrated human network administrator who tries to keep the network working.
• Brainy Billy
  Not the brightest of packets
• Moody Mercedes
  Lovely, vain, and rather nasty packet, one of the Nasties
• The Twins, Worried Wanda and Wary William
  Packets who say everything in trembling unison
• Agitated Ali
  Upset that his girlfriend Lovely Linda may be lost. Both Linda and Ali are packets.
• Genius Gene
  Packet who takes over as the group leader
• Wonderful Juan
  Simply wonderful packet
• Eddie Encryption
  Disguises packets so that Horrendous Hacker can't read them
• Enticing Virus
  Seems so nice, but ...
• Annie Virus
  Attacks viruses with hairspray, which is actually water
• Varsity Virus
  Waits offstage for her spot in the limelight
• The Triplets - Radio Wave, Micro Wave, Cordless Karen
  Cause lots of problems in wireless space
• Horrendous Hacker
  Tries to look at the information that packets are carrying. Another of the Nasties
• Ida Interference
  An additional interference
• Peter Packet
  A superhero packet who is out in wireless space ready to do in Horrendous Hacker in once and for all.
• Other Packets
  Other packets in the classroom.

If you decide to write additional scenes or acts, some of these characters would love the parts. (NOTE: These characters are not presently in the melodrama so don’t assign their parts unless you or your students have written them in. Of course, more characters can be added as well.)

• Linda Lovely
  Agitated Ali's love, a packet lost in Wireless Space
• Officer Oliver
  Security Officer who won't let packets through without a security key
• Security Key
  What packets need to get through to wireless receivers
• Hacker Packer
  A nasty packet in wireless space put there by Horrendous Hacker
• Randall Receiver
  Wireless receiver who is awaiting the packets
• Clifford Keyboard
  An unhappy keyboard.
• Serious Server
  Always demands that everything be just so in her files. No funny business
• Rambunctious Router
  Is on strike because no one appreciates him
• Calm Computer
  Doesn't worry about anything. Hopes no one will use him.

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