Problems with Text Messaging, IM & eMail
Email, IM & Text Messaging
Talk with your children about their digital communication through email, instant messaging, text messaging, and any other forms of digital correspondence. Whether they are using the computer, a personal digital device, or a cell phone, they should be aware of how to use these devices safely and efficiently—and with good manners.
Make it clear to your children that they are responsible for their messages and that whatever they send will leave a trail back to them. Just as inappropriate postings on social networking sites and discussion boards can come back to haunt those who are applying for colleges and jobs, unacceptable communication can also result in serious problems.
Understanding the Message
Digital messaging is a wonderful way to communicate, but because it's so easy to use, sometimes people (not just kids) don't think before they send. A problem can result simply because the person at the other end of the communication "takes" what is written the wrong way. Sending messages differs from face-to-face communication where facial expression between those interacting is part of the conversation. Although those writing messages can use emoticons like smiley faces, it's difficult to recreate face-to-face communication through text only—unless one takes the time to write like a professional author.
Another problem with understanding messages is that most digital messages are brief. That's good because people don't like long messages, and they aren't usually expecting elegantly written prose through communication on the Internet. Therefore, people reply quickly in phrases, abbreviations, and single words. The problem is that sometimes these types of messages can "sound" abrupt or rude to the person on the other end.
Responding Too Quickly
Sometimes your children will receive a message that annoys them. Maybe a teacher sends them a note about an assignment that is due, maybe their grandmother is "bugging" them about not getting in touch, or maybe a friend writes something that they don't appreciate? Instead of taking the time to calm down before responding, they zip off a quick response that they'll regret.
Web Lingo
While chat-type talk/lingo evolved because people wanted to respond quickly online during chat sessions, this new language has become part of messaging as well. It's fine for your children to use chat-talk in messaging if the people they are communicating with consider it appropriate. Sure, chat-talk is a quick and fun way to communicate with friends online, but most grandparents, employers, teachers, and college admissions representatives won't appreciate it. For example, a teacher doesn't want to encounter the following: " hErz my report. I wrkD rly hard on it, & I hOp U lIk it." Your children need to know that adults expect good spelling, capital letters in places where they should be, and writing in good sentences.
Web Lingo
While chat-type talk/lingo evolved because people wanted to respond quickly online during chat sessions, this new language has become part of messaging as well. It's fine for your children to use chat-talk in messaging if the people they are communicating with consider it appropriate. Sure, chat-talk is a quick and fun way to communicate with friends online, but most grandparents, employers, teachers, and college admissions representatives won't appreciate it. For example, a teacher doesn't want to encounter the following: " hErz my report. I wrkD rly hard on it, & I hOp U lIk it." Your children need to know that adults expect good spelling, capital letters in places where they should be, and writing in good sentences.
Giving Out Personal Information/Messaging with People They Don't Know
Your children may have hundreds of names in their so-called Buddy lists, and they surely don't know all these people. The danger here is that after communicating with people they don't really know for some time, they come to think of these people as friends. They trust them, sometimes more than they trust their actual friends and family. They believe it's safe to tell them secrets and to give out personal information to these "friends." While most of these relationships are harmless, some can turn out to be dangerous. That's why no personal information or secrets should ever be given to people they've only met online. This information could be used by an online predator to track them down, or it could be used by other kids to make fun of them or bully them.
Impersonating Others
When your children are too free with giving out their passwords, others can take these passwords and go online impersonating your children. They can send inappropriate or even illegal messages in your childrens' names. Although your children may think of this as funny, let them know that the police may get involved. Let them know that this type of behavior is totally unacceptable in your family.
Questions for Your Children to Ask Themselves
- Will the person to whom I am writing understand what I mean?
- Could this message come back to haunt me in the future?
- Am I too angry or upset to make a sensible reply?
- Am I giving out any of my secrets or personal information to people I've only met online?
- Am I keeping my passwords safe from everyone except my parents?
- Do I know that it is illegal to use someone else's online account and that it's not funny to impersonate someone else in my messages?
- Do I avoid Web lingo when it is inappropriate?
- Have I checked spelling and grammar except when writing a quick message to my friends?
- Am I using good manners when I write?
- Do I think before I press "Send"?
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